Well, three weeks have gone by and, lo and behold, I still haven’t gotten my life together. Really though, it’s a lot to ask to sort out an entire life in three weeks, so cut me some slack, alright? I think it’s a much bigger commitment than three weeks.
I just want to share with you what I have done in the last three weeks. It’s pretty huge. Ok, it’s actually really not, but the point I’m trying to make is that every step adds up, so bear with me.
This idea came up last week after my dad asked me about my life plans, and I got rather quiet and mumbled something brief, trying to shut down the conversation. I was feeling pretty embarrassed and discouraged about where I was in life, where I was going, and how to get there. You know, the normal stuff. I didn’t want to admit how behind I felt, or that I was so overwhelmed that I had basically just put everything aside and didn’t want to think about it. However, my dad, with his mystical dad-instincts, picked up on it anyway.
There are many times I am reminded of how amazing and supportive my parents are, and how lucky I am to have them. This was one of those times. My dad did something that I think takes a lot of courage: he admitted something to me. He said that he wanted to start working out again, but was scared, because of how long it had been since he had done any sort of exercise, he was worried about his health. We made a deal to start meeting every morning, Monday through Friday, and go to the library and gym together. We have done it for two weeks now. Who knows how long we will keep it up, but so far it has been working fantastically. I’ve already gotten more work done in these two weeks than I had for the last two months before that.
I think the reason this deal worked out so well is that for one thing, we had a solid plan to stick to, and for another we suddenly both had someone else to hold us accountable. I all too often keep my plans quiet, because I am embarrassed about the possibility of not sticking to those plans or reaching those goals. I think this is a mistake. I think it is good to involve other people in your plans, as long as they are supportive of them. I may not have been able to pull myself out of bed that first morning (or any of the following mornings, for that matter) if I didn’t have someone waiting for me, that I knew I had to go meet.
The other part, having a plan, I think is even more important, however. It doesn’t even need to be a full plan. I have no idea how long this will take me to finally finish this semester, I haven’t even looked at everything I have to do. My plan isn’t that complex. It started out as just putting aside a few hours that first week to work. Then the next week. Viola, I’ve already made more progress than I would have otherwise! Now I just need to keep it up.
I still don’t know if it will be ‘good enough’ or not, or if this whole school thing will even work out. It is overwhelming, trust me. It seems like I will never be able to catch up. I can’t even see an end to the work right now, and it doesn’t seem like what I’m doing will be enough. But I know it’s better than nothing, and that at this point I need to just keep my head down and focus on those baby steps each day. Something tells me that when I look up again I’ll be farther than I thought.